Every Happy Is Different

When I have found something that makes me happy, I usually want to share it with the people around me. I feel like I have just discovered an ancient secret of the universe and feel inspired to preach the gospel of my new discovery to everyone who will listen. I will also sermonize to everyone who would rather listen to something else but is too polite to say so or walk away.

You should have seen me when I discovered yoga and meditation. Especially meditation was a big thing for a while and I would push the meditation agenda on everyone. Really.

"Just try it, it will make you feel so much better".

Then, of course, I would get frustrated because the people around me would not try it or if they did try it, they were not even close to my level of enthusiasm. Subsequently, when they did not take kindly to my suggestions and badgering, I would feel criticized and retreat.

I think at the time, I didn't have a very healthy attitude towards unsolicited advice and helping others. I have since learned that help is the kinder side of control and that unsolicited advice, even if well intended, is closer to abuse and bullying than any of us might think.

I learned that every happy is different. What works for me might not work for you. And even if it does, you might not be in the right frame of mind to consider it, let alone try it.

And there is more, we don't only differ by what makes us happy, we also choose vastly different environments and lifestyles to support that happiness. It goes so far that sometimes, people choose to be unhappy because at least it is familiar or because they are not ready to change the course of their everyday life. Some people are absolutely ok with a life that I consider to be "mediocre" and some people would consider my life "sub-par and unfulfilling".

So it stands to reason that the only situation where I can help someone become a happier person is when they know and accept that they are unhappy, want to change, and seek out my help specifically because my brand of happy resonates with them.

If this is the case, I might offer some advice or some insight. In every other case, it is none of my business.