Are You Keeping Yourself Sick?

Confidence is such a tricky thing.

We live in a world where most people think that it is absolutely alright to tell others what to wear, how to talk, how to look, how to live their lives, and what to do. We have so many opinions. Especially about famous people. And about our neighbours.

At the same time, we take in all of these "helpful suggestions" from others to form them into our idea of who we should be.

We make ourselves sick to please others and then swiftly turn around to impose the same abuse on the next person. It's a vicious cycle that is really hard to break.

Ironically, the more at peace we are with ourselves, the more at peace we are with others as well. Accepting ourselves helps us accept others. Being kind to ourselves helps us be kinder to the people around us.

It seems a bit unfair that the transformation has to start with ourselves, even though the toxicity came from around us, to begin with.

We were all confident once when we were too young to know any different.

Then the people around us. Advertising got to us. The world got to us.

We got sick through no fault of our own. But nevertheless, we have to get healthy by ourselves. Sure, there is help. We have therapy, counselling, life coaching, spiritual paths, medicine—medically prescribed or self-inflicted—information, community, and a host of other things that can help us get rid of all vicious things that have accumulated within us over the years.

But despite all the help in the world we still have to be the ones to do the healing. Nobody can do it for us.

In the beginning, this felt deeply unfair to me. I didn't make myself sick, why was it up to me to do the work to heal?

I resisted getting better for years because it just felt unfair that I had to deal with garbage I didn’t put into my soul myself.

Then I realised that it wasn't only the world that made me sick. It was myself, too. Sure, the things I absorbed as a child were not my fault. I was too young to know how to say "no" or do anything about my environment.

But I am not a child anymore. I am old enough to control what I put into my body and what I put into my mind. I can say no. I can stop making myself sick.

So, while I am at it and saying "no" to new trash in my mental health pile, why not take some garbage out as well?

It’s either get rid of it myself or live with a shit-pile in the yard.

Not fair, but a good reason to get a shovel nonetheless.