Sheesh! Help Yourself!

Even when you think you have most of your self-helpy stuff figured out, you probably still treat yourself worse than aunt Louise treats her husband, who has done nothing wrong except for marrying her. She loves him. She just also yells at him a lot.

It comes with the territory. We treat the people closest to us the worse than we treat complete strangers on the bus to nowhere in particular. While we never call our grandma more than once a month, we make sure to answer every e-mail our boss sends us at ridiculous hours of the night. How many times have you answered a work-related e-mail while you were deep into the Margarita?

Exactly.

There is a person that you treat even worse than your grandma, though. You! You are the person you spend the most time with, the closest there is to you, and you're also your own chief victim of neglect.

"But I do my yoga!" I hear you say. "I am not saying bad things about my crater-laden thighs anymore...well, except for this once cause it slipped right out", you'll protest. And yet, here we are.

I love that you do not actively hate on yourself anymore. I am delighted that you have graduated to treating yourself like a decent human being. Sure, you still see yourself as an ugly duckling with cellulite and serious malfunctions in the hair department, but at least you don't mention it all the time.

Congratulations! You don't say all the nasty things out loud anymore.

But can you honestly say that you've done anything kind for yourself lately? Have you helped yourself in the same way you help your kids get it together and make it to school with only mismatched socks telling the tale of chaotic family life?

I didn't think so.

Being good to yourself doesn't only mean you stop calling yourself names whenever you see your freckles in the mirror. So yes, moving away from self-hate is a massive accomplishment. But make no mistake, you are probably still the person in your life you treat with the least care.

Self-love isn't only about not hurting yourself, even though that is a great first step.

Self-love is also about helping yourself.

It's about figuring out what would make your life easier and then allowing yourself to do that. Sometimes, self-love involves exercise and a spa day, but more often, it simply involves a new dishwasher, a dryer that works, and some help around the house.

Yes, it's called self-help, but honestly, there are no medals for "sorted all the socks by myself". Yes, help yourself. Help yourself by asking for the help you need. Love yourself by making things easier.

Just do it. You don't have to tell anyone that the yummy meals you serve for dinner four times a week are courtesy of a meal-box service. Lettuce doesn't get any healthier just cause you shopped for it yourself.