We Need To Talk
We need to talk.
Those four words are among the most dreaded in the universe. Most of us get a nice cringe going just by thinking of these words. They are the verbal sword of Damocles creeping up on us when we least expect it.
Especially men seem to get a full-body eye roll whenever they hear these words from their wives. At least that's what it looked like on all the 90s sitcoms. I think there are even t-shirts about it!
At first, it's funny.
Then, it's pretty sick.
Talking things out with our partner is an absolutely underrated and underdeveloped skill in most relationships. Healthy communication can make or break us, and yet, we never really learn.
Instead, we cringe at "we need to talk".
Even when it is just a joke, and we don't "really mean it", we still perpetuate the story that talking things through is terrible and best avoided. To put it like Tinker Bell: Every time we say we don't believe in "we need to talk", somewhere, a relationship dies.
What's more, we also imply that "we need to talk" only happens when things have gone pear-shaped in the relationship. We never highlight the other conversations. You know, the ones where we tell our husbands (and others) how much we appreciate them and how life would suck without them. We keep the good things for pop music, I suppose.
Maybe, we should start a conversation with "honey, we need to talk" and then say something super positive to our partners—a communicative sneak attack of epic proportions. Just imagine how they'd cringe. I bet the look of relief and dumbfoundedness on their face when we follow up "we need to talk" with "you're really hot today" would be prettty funny.
Also, let's not forget about " We need to talk"s evil twin "I'm fine!!!"
Everyone knows that that is not the case, and everyone complains about it big time. I don't know how many times I've heard "Arghs, women, they never say what they want!". Chances are, there is a t-shirt with "I'm fine!" right next to the one with "We need to talk". In those 90s sitcoms, the two probably came up in the same sentence!
If that isn't sick, I don't know.
On the one hand, we have a massive pop culture thing about how talking is cringeworthy. But, on the other hand, the fact that we don't talk is the centrepiece of more than just a few comedy routines.
No wonder we're all so confused and need a therapist to figure it all out.
I guess, in this way, we're just like puppies. If you give them conflicting instructions, they just pee on the floor.
I think it's time we change our relationship with "I need to talk" and "I'm fine".
How about I tell you what's going on, and you don't cringe and avoid the conversation?
Deal?
