Step Down When Life Is Slow

My emotions and I have this understanding about emergency situations. They wait in the corner patiently while I deal with whatever the difficult situation is because I have promised that I will make space for the "feelings part" later.

Because of this, I am really good in a crisis. When bad stuff is going down, I step up. I get calm, my brain becomes MUCH more organized, and my mind looks like one of those super minimalist bullet journals where everything is sharply in its place.

Afterward, though, I usually end up like some weird splotch of ink in a corner. There is crying. Sometimes for hours. Quietly. Just letting it all out.

Then, I revert to normal.

Of course, my life does not only oscillate between outrageous states of emergency and tearful processing in a dark corner.

There are many, many days where things just go a little up or a little down.

Nevertheless, my usual response to difficulty is to take it up a notch. Or Five. I have a fairly high tolerance for stress and fast pacing, as long as it is situational.

When I was younger, I believed that my capability to "step it up" was indefinite. I genuinely thought I thrived in stressful environments. I even sought them out both on purpose and subconsciously because they made me feel competent.

There's nothing like a super detached emergency brain to make you feel like you have your shit together.

Of course, I did not have my shit together. I don't know that anyone ever does. Certainly not in their twenties.

Anyway. Stepping up seems natural and reasonable. We all do it from time to time and then we revert to our baseline and get on with it.

Somehow, though, we never step down when things are a bit quiet. If I were to draw a graph about our level of "stepped into the situation", it would have a baseline somewhere in the middle, and then occasionally it would shoot up.

Sometimes it would stay up for a while. When the line stays up for too long, we have a complete breakdown and end up way, way at the bottom of the graph. So far below our baseline that just making it back to normal looks like climbing a skyscraper.

We never seem to explore the territory below our baseline voluntarily.

And I have to wonder: Why not?

Productivity culture and hustle porn sure did a number on us. Not only do we never step below “normal productivity”, but we’ll also often feel bad about not being “up there at stress level” often enough.

And yet, it seems so obvious: If it is alright to step up for a stressful situation, it is also alright to step down from things when life is slow.

I think if we were as proactive about "rest" as we are about "stepping up", we'd be a good deal healthier than we are.

So, let’s ven things out a bit. Let’s step down as much as we step up.

Every debt needs to be paid.

Just because we aren't always borrowing, doesn't mean we're breaking even.