Nothing Happens for a Reason

I believe that the universe conspires to help me.

I also know that that is bullshit.

Like most humans, I have a story brain. For me, it manifests as believing in a higher power and loving Tarot cards. I also have a factual brain that believes in randomness and statistics.

The human brain is not well-equipped for randomness or statistics. We have a really hard time assessing odds correctly. Even with practice, our gut instincts never completely catch up to proper data science.

Here is a thought experiment to illustrate this:

Think back to election polling. Observe your thoughts when reading "Biden has an 80% chance of winning the election".

Now, imagine you're telling your mom about the odds. Unless you have regular dealings with statistics, you'd tell your mother that "Biden will win the election". Most people would say the same.

If you are a mathematician, a computer scientist, or involved with statistics in some way, it is more likely that you’d say "in 8 out of 10 elections, Biden wins" or "Biden has a 20% chance of losing". Alas, you are not the majority.

Our brain likes to see things clearly, so it makes things up to trick us into thinking the picture is clear, even if it is murky. It’s this thing where you think something makes sense in your head and then you feel a bit discombobulated when you try to put it into words. That’s your brain deceiving you with a feeling of clarity.

The same happens when we encounter randomness in our lives. I met my husband purely by chance at a work event. I know our meeting was purely accidental.

And yet, I also feel like we were destined to meet. I would swear that he was put on this earth just for me. I feel like, really, the universe was all in on this. My story brain absolutely prefers this version of events.

Alas, it is all just random stuff. All these events are just dots sprinkled on a piece of paper. Our brain connects the dots and makes a picture. That doesn't mean the picture is really there. It's a lot like zodiac signs. There is no big dipper in the sky, and yet we see it every time we look up.

Randomness doesn't only apply to the positive events of life, though. Just like nothing good happened for a reason, nothing bad happened for a reason either.

A lot of the horrible things that happen to us don't happen because we deserve them. Certainly, there is no such thing as this anthropomorphic personification called "life" that insists on teaching us a lesson. Stuff just happens and we respond to it.

And yet, thinking of "life" as a teacher trying to tell us something is a useful concept. It's the story we need to tell ourselves to not be completely frustrated and adrift in randomness. It is the thinking aid we need in order to learn and make progress.

We are story people. We need meaning.

So we connect the dots and fill in the blanks. And that's ok.

Just because something happened randomly doesn't mean it can't also have meaning for you.

I still believe in the universe.

I know that when I talk to the universe, I am talking to myself.

But without the concept of “the universe”, I'd not be able to talk to that part of myself.

So I take both.

Randomness and fate, dumb luck and deserved reward.

I indulge my story brain when it is helpful, but when it is not, I remind myself that nothing happens for a reason.