An Elephant Is Running Your Life

And mine, too.

At least, when it comes to our behaviour.

In his book You're Invited explains that our subconscious mind is a bit like an elephant and our conscious mind is like the rider.

The conscious mind thinks it is in control. When we are paying a lot of attention to what we are doing, that is sometimes the case. When we're paying really good attention to what is going on, we know what we're doing.

However, as soon as we don't pay attention, our unconscious mind, the elephant, goes wherever it wants. What's more, when the elephant gets spooked or is really set on something, there is precious little the rider, our conscious mind, can do.

Have you ever tried herding an elephant? I mean ure, the rider thinks they are in control, but if you think about it, it all depends on the graciousness of the elephant. Noboy could stop it, except a good shot with a huge tranquilizer dart.

Now, imagine the elephant rider after a long day. Their attention will not be spot on at all. Perhapss, they fall asleep from the slow rocking back and forth high up on the elephant's back.

Our brain is a lotlike that.

Nobody has perfect attention. Sometimes, our rider is just too tired and frazzled to direct the elephant.

For those times, it is really important, that there are good paths the elephant can take instead of going straight through the bush. If we give it a nice road that leads where we want to go, the elephant will just storm in the right direction whenever it gets a bee in its bum.

The mistake most of us make is denying that the elephant is in charge of most of what we do. Some of us even deny that it exists. You know, the people who say "I am a very rational person". Yeah, they have the biggest elephants.

We like to say that we are rational and behave rationally. Likewise, when we wonder about why other people behave the way they do, we also assume that they should act rationally.

Real-life indicates otherwise. People as a whole tend to act irrationally. What's more, even knowing about the ways we act irrationally does not protect us from it. Even if you know about the bias of loss aversion, you will still be happier about not losing 100 dollars than you will be about making 100 dollars. You will try to avoid the loss more than you will try to make the gain.

Unless, of course, you stop to think about it and your rider is in control of the elephant.

The problem with rational thinking is that it is slow and costs a lot of energy. It is not sustainable to rationally think through everything you do every day. You wouldn't get much done because you'd be buried in pro and contra list.

So what do you do instead?

You accept that your elephant is in charge most of the time and focus on building better roads for it.

Changing your behaviour consciously is very difficult. Building roads you can take when you're "not all that aware" is much easier and leads to much better results sooner.

Instead of consciously trying to be less distracted, just remove distractions. Instead of resisting unhealthy food, don't keep it at eye level in the fridge.

I had a wonderful elephant moment with food yesterday. Lately, I have been getting random bursts of the munchies in the evening. So far, this has often ended in my "snacking" on crisps, instant soup, and other easily grabbable "foods".

Yesterday, the easiest thing to grab was a bowl of leftovers from my lunch salad. So I ate that instead without much thinking about it. It was only after I'd stuffed my face that I realised that the ready-to-eat leftover is a good path for the elephant. If I just put what I want to eat in my own way whenever the rider is in charge, I can make sure the elephant eats what it is supposed to eat once the munchies invade.