Make Your Life Easier—A Guilt Trip

I feel guilty about almost everything.

The laundry, the fridge, the cleaner who comes by once a week, the takeout food, the delivery services I use, the lack of elaborate dinners, the late replies to messages, and the cheese.

Especially the cheese.

If you knew how much cheese disappears in this household, you'd judge me, too.

And yet, when one of my lady friends wonders about whether she should get some sort of help with the laundry, the dishes, the household, the deliveries, the errands, the childcare, the shopping, or the cheese (I always help with the cheese), I cheer them on like it's time for the parade.

Because it’s always time for that parade.

"You should get all the help you want, honey!" I'll cheer through the cheese while I reach for another sip of wine.

And I mean it.

For my friend.

For myself.

And for you, too.

Things are always hard. Not "I will die on this mountain" hard, but hard enough to make them easier. Always.

I think the story of "women who get help with the household or ANYTHING AT ALL are lazy" needs to die. And soon.

There is nothing wrong with getting help. You don't need a good enough reason (sickness, a demanding career, volunteering for the squirrel dance) to get help. You can just get help because you want it.

You can make things easier for yourself in the parts of your life where that is actually possible. Believe me, even if some fairy godmonster came and did my whole household for me, there would still be enough difficult things left to occupy most of my brain most of the time.

Nobody will parent my teenager (and that's good, I think I am doing really well with him) or work on my "become a better person" quest (we all have that one, they say the rewards are worth it?!). Nobody will keep my relationship healthy or make sure I become a kickass writer.

There are so many things on my plate that only I can do. There are so many things on your plate only you can do.

So, yes, I'll get help with the cleaning and order a meal box from time to time. If I can choose how to spend my last brain juice, I'd rather spend it on this article than worrying about what's for dinner.

The same goes for you!

If you need help, don't feel ashamed.

Ok, I mean, that's probably impossible.

I still feel guilty myself (and yes, I am aware that my mountain of guilt always revolves around DOMESTIC issues...wonder what that is about, haha).

So…let's try it like this:

If you need help, get it EVEN IF you feel guilty.

And for Gin's sake, get more cheese.