Have you ever observed two people arguing or fighting? Chances are that both will keep stating their positions to each other over and over expecting the other person to change their minds. As the argument goes on, the participants raise their voices more and more, trying to compensate the rising feeling of not being heard with increased volume.
But even if the participants don’t raise their voices, most arguments are more two people talking at each other than two people talking to each other.
“You don’t get it” they will proclaim in frustration.
“You are not listening.”
I do this. You do this. Most people do this.
We treat the “opponent” with the same disrespect that we accuse them of treating us with. We don’t try to understand their position any more than they try to understand ours.
Here is an experiment:
Next time you are arguing with someone, take a moment and switch sides. Try to argue their position. If possible, have them try to argue yours.
Put yourselves in each other’s shoes and try to walk a mile.
Maybe you will learn something about the value of the shoes.
Maybe they will learn to listen. Maybe you will, too.
